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Adopted children whose early development has been altered by abuse or neglect may form negative beliefs about themselves and parents, and may resist connecting with others. This book outlines how therapeutic stories can help children to heal and develop healthy attachments.
With a thorough theoretical grounding, the book demonstrates how to create therapeutic stories that improve relationships, heal past trauma, and change problem behaviour. The story of a fictional family that develops its own narratives to help their adopted child heal illustrates the techniques. This second edition includes updated research on attachment, trauma and the developmental process; a new chapter on parental attunement and regulation; and a new chapter with full length samples of a variety of narrative types.
The gentle and non-intrusive techniques in this book will be highly beneficial for children with attachment difficulties. This guide will be an invaluable resource for parents of adopted children and the professionals working with them.
- Sales Rank: #527215 in eBooks
- Published on: 2011-12-15
- Released on: 2011-12-15
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
Overall, I found this book to be an interesting and stimulating read. The early chapters refreshed my knowledge and understanding of attachment difficulties, particularly as they relate to adopted children. I found the Family Attachment Narrative Therapy approach and the case examples given fascinating and was pleased that parents were of key importance in developing their own narratives... I would recommend this book both to professionals working with adoptive families, to parents of adopted children and to those with an interest in this area or in therapeutic story telling. -- Debate This book is a welcome addition to the resources available to not only adoptive parents but also social workers in practice with children and young people with attachment issues. -- Rostrum This book is a discussion and guide on the use of narrative to help children and parents work through difficult behaviour and attachment issues. But it is also much more... This book's emphasis on helping parents do the therapeutic work of building the family as a safe healing space is spot on. -- Children & Young People Now This book provides a very valuable, innovative resource for adoptive families supporting children with complex, traumatic early life histories. The focus is on empowering adoptive families to support their children with complex, traumatic early life stories. The focus is on empowering adoptive families to support their children, by giving them a thorough understanding of how early life history will affect each child's internal working model... I found this a very exciting, meaningful book. It provides clarity and recognition of the challenges and issues for adopted children with complex, traumatic early life histories. -- Lapidus Journal Stories are the currency of life. "Connecting with Kids Through Stories: Using Narratives to Facilitate Attachement in Adopted Children" discusses the importance of stories in forming bonds with adopted children, to children who may not have had the easiest life coming into a caring parent's care... A strong pick for parenting collections, especially those with a focus on adoption. -- The Midwest Book Review This is a clear, practical, relevant and optimistic book that gives adoptive parents a deeper insight into the lives of their children, and an effective intervention made all the more attractive because it is based on the universally familiar and compelling business of telling stories about life's most significant emotional experiences. -- David Howe, Professor Emeritus, School of Social Work and Psychology, University of East Anglia, UK This is a wonderful book that goes to the heart of the matter in healing traumatized adoptees. If adopted kids are to grow and thrive in their adoptive family, the how and why of the arrival into the forever home must be told. Using the context of storytelling to tell the often painful tale is brilliant - even challenging and older children will accept a story. I particularly like the abundant examples of stories, the words of encouragement to parents to get started, the use of narratives to cover all aspects of the aftermath of trauma, the overview of how trauma leaves a child afflicted and the overriding message that underneath all the chaotic behavior is a child desperately trying to tell us the meaning of his or her experiences. Once attune to this meaning, each member of the family can connect. Thus, the meaning of being a part of a healthy family emerges for the adoptee, brothers, sisters and parents. -- Arleta James, therapist, Attachment and Bonding Center of Ohio, USA
About the Author
The authors are all based at the Family Attachment and Counseling Center, Minnesota, USA. Denise B. Lacher is a psychologist who specializes in treating children who have experienced maltreatment in early life. Todd Nichols is Executive Director. He is co-recipient of the 2008 Pro Humanitate Award issued by the Center for Child Welfare Policy and sole recipient of the 2007 New Horizons Award issued by the Association for Treatment and Training in the Attachment of Children. Melissa Nichols is a marriage and family therapist who specializes in treating children who have experienced abandonment, neglect, and abuse early in life. Joanne C. May is a licensed psychologist and marriage and family therapist and founder of the Family Attachment and Counseling Center. She has over 50 years' experience working with families, children and adolescents.
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Master the Art of Family Narrative Stories & Bring Healing & Attachment
By gayle h. swift
Adoptive parents rely on a well-stocked parenting tool box. Connecting with Kids Through Stories: offers a novel technique base on sharing stories based on the actual experiences of a family. How can stories make a difference? How can they help children heal , learn, and draw families closer together?
Story telling has been a human tradition for thousands of years. A well told tale entertains, joins us in a common experience and builds a shared memory. Tales handed down through the generations transmit important values and cultural beliefs. They help to weave the fabric of family history and become a permanent part of family lore. Most of us hold warm memories of bedtime rituals that included a good book read by a loving and patient parent as we snuggled close. Many of us probably requested a mind-numbing number of repetitions of our childhood favorite. This shared experience strengthened relationships, exchanged a great deal of knowledge, imparted family values. We learned that our parents enjoyed spending time with us and we internalized a sense that we mattered.
Many children adopted after abuse and neglect, never experienced this gentle process of family bond-building, education and acculturation through story time. Instead a void exists in their skills, their knowledge base and in their people-reading skills. Adoptive parents face a substantial task as they assist a child in discovering how they can learn to trust, to love, to be a friend and to heal their deficits. One excellent and practical method that families can use is telling therapeutic narratives. You may wonder how reading books differs from sharing a therapeutic narrativeDenise B. Lacher wrote a terrific book on the subject: Connecting with Kids Through Stories: Using Narratives to Facilitate Attachment in Adopted Children
Lacher explains "Family Attachment Narrative Therapy is a gentle, nonprovocative, nonintrusive methodology in which parents are the primary agents of healing their hurt child."four different types of narrative, each with a specific purpose:
Claiming: "establishes the rights of a child to belong, to be accepted, and to be cared for by loving parents..."
Developmental: "provide children with the experience of a caregiver celebrating their accomplishments and revelling in their uniqueness."
Successful Child: "help children create new stories about who they are, what happened to them, and who they can be."
Trauma: "... can not only heal the child's wounds ... they can shift the child's negative internal working model [making] new behavioral and emotional responses available to the child."
This specialized and personalized type of story telling requires some education and careful attention to a child's behavioral cues Using their own words, parents create stories based on the facts of their child's life. Stories are told in the third person through a character whose history mirrors the child's actual life experiences. (This allows the child to listen and absorb the story without feeling threatened or judged.)
The stories offer a way to help a child build skills, to imagine their new parents sharing their lost milestones, to learn developmental skills that they missed because of neglect. They can help rewrite patterns of behavior based on maladaptive survival skills no longer needed now that loving, safe parents have adopted them. "Narrative represent the ideal in parenting--what it could have been like for both the parent and child had they been together [from the beginning of the child's life]."
This book is filled with ideas for using narrative to evoke change and help children acquire skills and knowledge which they need to successfully accept and integrate into their new families, to heal themselves and to function in the world at large. Narrative stories offer another tool for parents to add to their parenting tool box. It includes sample scripts as examples to guide parents in creating stories based on their child's personal experiences. Well worth the read , Connecting to Kids through Stories" might make a huge difference in your family. Why not check it out? --Gayle H. Swift, adoption coach and author of "ABC, Adoption & Me: A Multicultural Picture Book"
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
A very clear, jargon-free resource.
By Jeffery S. Herman
I'm presently in training for certification in attachment therapy and this book has been absolutely incredible. Helping the child to write his or her story is such a powerful therapeutic tool. This books addresses the approaches needed for children from many different backgrounds, including severe trauma, neglect, and even international adoption. It's absolutely incredible and I recommend it highly. It's very readable and is written jargon-free!
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Awesome Book
By momof5
Our child's therapist recommended we do a claiming narrative and a trauma narrative, we little direction for either. This book has helped me with understanding the basis behind doing narratives for children who are adopted. It gives examples of narratives as well as examples of healing that has taken place through the use of narratives.
I love it....You, as the parent, can help your child, at home, for free, on your own time, and in your own space. You customize the 'therapy' to your child's needs & personality.
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