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Adults with Asperger Syndrome (AS) often have difficulties acquiring relationship skills due to the defining characteristics of the syndrome, experiences with peers during childhood and adolescence, and the expectations of their partners. However, an increasing number do go on to achieve happy and successful long-term relationships with non-spectrum (NS) partners.
This supportive book will give NS partners a better understanding of NS/AS relationships, and of what other NS partners have found to be helpful in terms of better understanding themselves and their partners, and enriching their relationships. Drawing on interviews with over 100 people in NS/AS relationships, as well as on their own experiences of having family members on the autism spectrum, the authors explore the key differences which may impact upon AS/NS relationships, such as communication, social skills, and sensory issues, and offer tried-and-tested advice on how to surmount difficulties and make things work. The book includes chapters on coping with stress and meltdowns, parenting, positive AS qualities and how to use them to their full advantage in a relationship, as well as advice on how the NS partner can ensure that their own needs are met.
This book will provide support and encouragement to those in a relationship with someone who has been diagnosed with AS, or who is suspected of having AS, and will also be a useful resource for counsellors and other professionals who wish to deepen their understanding of AS/NS relationships.
- Sales Rank: #162533 in eBooks
- Published on: 2011-12-15
- Released on: 2011-12-15
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
Moreno, founder of an autism nonprofit, along with social worker Marci Wheeler and communication coach Kealah Parkinson, interviewed over 100 couples in which one partner has ASD and the other is nonspectrum (NS). Their aim: to provide insight and guidance to NS partners who want to create a successful relationship for both parties.
While most of the advice is directed at the NS partner, there are also tips for parents, friends, and professionals on how to support the couple in maintaining a positive relationship. Each chapter ends with a list of lessons learned from the couples interviewed. The authors cover communication, social skills, and sensory processing and provide many real-life examples drawn from the experiences of the interviewed couples. Tony Attwood's foreword highlights potential relationship problems that individuals with ASD typically encounter.
VERDICT: Excellent insight and tips for anyone in, or considering, a relationship with a person with ASD, as well as the friends and families of couples with an ASD partner. --Library Journal, February 29, 2012
About the Author
Susan Moreno is the founder and president of MAAP Services, Inc., a non-profit organization that provides information and advice to parents, teachers and healthcare professionals about all aspects of autism. She is the editor of The MAAP, a newsletter for families of more advanced individuals within the autism spectrum of disorders. She holds a Master's degree in Applied Behavioral Science from Valparaiso University in Indiana and she is internationally known as a lecturer and motivational speaker. Marci Wheeler is a Social Work Specialist with a Master's degree in Social Work. She has worked at the Indiana Resource Center for Autism at the Indiana Institute on Disability and Community, Indiana University since 1983. She writes and consults on topics relating to autism spectrum disorders and her other areas of expertise include parenting, family issues, and community supports and resources. She has served as a field instructor and adjunct faculty member for the School of Social Work at Indiana University and Indiana University-Purdue University at Indianapolis and as staff advisor for the Students on the Spectrum (S.O.S.) Club at Indiana University in Bloomington. Kealah Parkinson is a professional communications coach and public speaker who, along with motivating business and sales people, specializes in fostering communication skills in clients with mental illness and developmental disorders. Through her company, KiKi Productions, Inc., she offers a variety of services both online and in-person, including speech-coaching and consulting. She is the author of the e-workbook "Speak Your Truth: How to Say What You Mean to Get What You Want."
Most helpful customer reviews
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful.
Respectful and well-researched
By Christine J. Guth
A Partner's Guide to Asperger Syndrome is the best book I've seen yet about marriage to someone on the autism spectrum, and I have read as many as I could find. The authors take seriously the challenges Asperger's Syndrome makes to a marriage or partnership, without making these relationships seem hopeless. The book is consistently respectful of persons on the autism spectrum, and assumes that any problems in the relationship are the responsibility of both partners, not to be blamed unilaterally on the partner on the spectrum. The authors draw on hundreds of interviews with couples, so their perspective is broad and deep, taking into account the great diversity present in the autism spectrum, and in partner relationships. This breadth should give most spectrum couples stories they can identify with.
Social disability has its greatest impact in the context of intimate relationships. The stories and strategies of this book offer validation of the challenges, along with approaches to avoiding the pitfalls, so that partners can minimize the disability and grow in appreciation of their loved one's unique gifts.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Eye Opening
By Alexiaj
Wow, I am so glad I found The Partner's Guide to Asperger Syndrome. I now know I'm not losing my mind and the past 7 years with my ASD husband are starting to make some sense. I kinda feel like the author "has my back" in a way that doesn't belittle or condemn my ASD husband. Which is a good thing because I want to be angry with him for the crap I've had to endure during the last 7 yrs and yet knowing that some of "the crap" is something he has not control over helps me to communicate better with him and realize that I have added to "the crap" unintentionally by trying to force "normal". It's still going to be a very long process that I'm not even sure we'll be to work through but reading this book is a good start.
6 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
Hoping to learn about my husband
By D. Henson
I'm not done with the book yet, but I can say that so far it's been an eye opener. My husband doesn't seem to see any difference between himself and others, which is part of the diagnosis though, isn't it? It's been a frustrating nine years of marriage. I just hope I can learn enough, fast enough, to keep things on an even keel. The author has an 'interesting' point of view, not one I think I'll ever have, and that's okay with me. I can't be that "oh well" about things. I didn't get married to stay the same for the next 50 years. I hope to see things improve between us, and I hope this book will be part of the solution.
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